Ego vs Soul

Throughout my many years building grids, standing as a gatekeeper, and being in this world but not of it, I have travelled in more circles and cycles than I wish to admit. Every time a cycle repeats we have the question of why is this showing up again when I've already looked at it and healed it?

One thing to recognize is each moment in time is in a different location point. Energy does not stand still and the energies flowing around and through you at any moment are not there the next. Each frequency change within our human, within us as infinite beings, the frequency of the collective, nature, and the earth all combine to give us a different reality. To think we are looking at the same thing as we have before is incorrect.

We are different, what we are looking at is different, nothing is the same. Therein lies one of the biggest issues to traverse through life in a human form....we have set rules and beliefs about what was before and superimpose upon a now moment what we remember, whether true or not doesn't matter, and attempt to react or handle what we see according to a previous time, place and energy.

Because of this we are the ones that are bringing back into our awareness something, that we thought we had previously healed, which we may have, but, we are now looking at it from a different viewpoint. If we are able to “let it go” without reacting then we know that, yes, we have fully healed things around this subject. If not, take another look and see what beliefs and reasoning's need to be looked at and revised. There are many things that we no longer have any emotion about, even when they come up again. We can tell the “story” of the events without any emotional attachment for they are just that, a story that is no longer holding us in its thralls.

The first step that I have found helpful is to make friends with your Ego. Having open communication with an intent of understanding WHY it sees things as it does. This does open up new doors to meander through, like an old attic, that will need to be cleaned up and straightened. However, it does begin an interesting journey of seeing why you are the way you are and what has been forgotten by the conscious mind of choices you made for survival, the choices you made to get you to where you are now.

You will feel like you are talking to yourself, and, yes, you are. This is where you really recognize your thoughts as a Soul and the apparent thoughts of the Ego. Being kind to the Ego side of yourself is critical and any response as to “it is an idiot” will be met with resistance. This isn't about accepting or agreeing with the Ego's way of doing things, this is about coming to a neutral and central ground that you both can work within TOGETHER to make changes that will benefit you both.

This step probably takes the most constant attention in the beginning. For me it was best that I constantly laughed at myself and behind the scenes of the Ego's knowing making small adjustments towards a better way of thinking and being. The Ego doesn't like change at all and will resist and cause problems if you are trying to make many major changes at once. This will change once the relationship is more solid, which takes time and many, many conversations about how you see things working and what you have discovered is a possible new way of doing things. When the Ego begins to realize and trust your choices – as you are still alive and safe – it will begin to work as a team player and not against you. Baby steps.

When things would become a little agitating or heated within I would ask my Ego to go do something for me as it does enjoy finding things and giving validation. It can be anything random like what was my 3rd grade teachers name? Where did I go last March? You will feel the difference of it flying off to work and not the heaviness of trying to get you to listen to it.

Throughout the process take notes as you won't be able to change everything in the moment that you would like to. Over time you will see the similarities and be able to create a plan of how best to approach your Ego to resolve things. Making a game out of it seems to be the most effective. The Ego is like an overgrown toddler that gets distracted and has temper tantrums. Pay attention to beliefs, habits, requirements and needs that it and you felt were most important. Above all pay attention to your emotional responses and learn to determine whether or not it is an actual held emotion that needs to be cleared or if it is the Ego sending the emotion throughout your body to get you to stop and do things its way.

While it may seem impossible at times, it is one of the most important masteries necessary for a firm foundation.

~ Allison